What if I had made all these (mostly) good decisions I'm making now ten years earlier in my life? I'd be finishing college in my mid-twenties. Planning for the future such as buying a house, saving for retirement, or thinking about kids, wouldn't feel so urgent and terrifying. Coming out of the closet a second time would have made me seem more like a stupid kid and less like an incredibly stupid (and somewhat deceitful) adult. I'd have solid employment at a great institution, and wouldn't be hopping jobs like a teenager.
I guess it's just one of those days where I feel like a tremendous failure and a fuckup.
From Inception trivia:
ReplyDeleteA direct translation of the lyrics for the song "Non, je ne regrette rien" as performed by Édith Piaf is: "I regret nothing/no, I have no regrets/I regret neither the good things that were done to me nor the bad things/They are all the same to me/...The past is payed, swept away, forgotten/I don't care of the past anymore/I set my memories on fire/My agonies, and my pleasures/I don't need them any more/Swept away in the agonies of love/Swept away forever, I'm restarting with nothing..." Christopher Nolan has made a point of saying that he chose the song specifically for the movie, which is heavily concerned with the effect of memories on the psyche, and specifically the disastrous effect that not letting go of memories of love-gone-wrong can have on the subconscious--exactly what the song discusses. Also of note: in the original French, "I regret neither the good things done to me nor the bad things" is "Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait ni le mal," and since Cobb's wife is named Mal, that gives the line a double meaning.